A special place for stupid jerks like me and you. Mostly a bunch of stuff I've accumulated online, pictures, links, self-important status updates and shameless reblogs of whatever catches my eye...I'll try to avoid posting too much Homestuck related stuff, I know how fucking ANAL AGGRIEVED some people get about it.
Reblogged from thegoodnotes  230 notes

thegoodnotes:

"Unsolved Mysteries Theme" by Michael Boyd and Gary Remal Malkin

I used to watch this show all the time. The theme song still creeps me out.

  • Track: Unsolved Mysteries Theme
  • Artist: Michael Boyd and Gary Remal Malkin
  • Album: Unsolved Mysteries
  • Plays: 449
Reblogged from waifuanon  1,622 notes

every chopped episode ever

interquast:

  • 3 men, 1 woman set up
  • first dude: hey, im JOHN ROCKWELL, and im from BOSTON. *zooms in on him slicing up meat* im a BIG GUY so i always say GO BIG OR GO HOME. i work at a MEAT MARKET WHERE WE CUT UP SOME MEAT. i love me some meat! *sudden sad music* my dad, he uh… he was what inspired me most in the kitchen. i remember being a kid… and just watching him on the grill… he really inspired in me the love for cooking. *more sad music* *zooms in on the guy looking kinda sad* he passed away last year. i guess this is my way of kind of doing this for him. he is with me every day when im cutting up meats. he’s here with me today. *rock n roll music* THESE PEOPLE THINK THEY KNOW ME BECAUSE OF HOW I LOOK. THERE ARE MORE SURPRISES IN STORE! *dan anana nanananana*
  • second dude: hi, im tony lagforkgok and im from new york city. *funky jazz* i work at [italian restaurant] and i’ve served some of the greats. michael jordan… oprah… the list goes on. *more light jazz* i guess what really got me hooked was when my mom was cooking in the kitchen. she had authentic recipes and really knew her way around traditional italian cooking. *sad music* my mom… was just diagnosed with cancer. we’re all rooting for her. if i were to win this money i would pay for her treatment. *very sad music* i do everything for my mom. she’s everything to me. 
  • third dude: *quirky music* my name is gary polk and some people think im WEIRD. *cuts to him doing something weird* i really love to make people happy with things they wouldnt normally expect! *cuts to him putting cotton candy in a blender and laughing maniacally* my other passion is SKATEBOARDING. *him skateboarding* *quirky music* i think maybe people underestimate me because i’m a little out there… *maniacal laughter* but that is their biggest mistake!
  • the woman: hey IM JESS BROWN AND I AM NOT LIKE THE OTHER GIRLS. *ROCK N ROLL MUSIC* I AM TOUGH. SOME PEOPLE THINK BECAUSE I HAVE GREEN HAIR AND PIERCINGS AND TATTOOS, I SHOULDNT BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. THAT ABSOLUTELY IS NOT TRUE. I AM THE EQUAL TO EVERY MAN AND BETTER THAN ANYONE HERE. I AM NOT TO BE UNDERESTIMATED BECAUSE I AM A WOMAN. YOU WILL NOT UNDERESTIMATE ME. I AM A BETTER CHEF THAN ANYONE. *ROCK N ROLL MUSIC* I’M GONNA WIN CHOPPED BECAUSE OF MY ROCK N ROLL ATTITUDE
  • the woman loses in the first round
  • scott conant cries about raw red onions
  • alex guarnaschelli serves up some prime “are you fucking kidding me” looks when the italian chef fucks up something italian
  • amanda freitag tries to say something mean but it comes off too nice and one of the chefs says “thanks!” and she’s like “no that wasn’t a compliment” and DUN DUN DUN music plays
  • someone sweats into their food and im like ???? is that ok???
  • someone forgets an ingredient and ultimately doesn’t go home because another chef undercooked the pork why does that always happen whats so fucking difficult about pork
  • the chef with experience in pastry cooking doesnt make it to the dessert round
  • THE PERSON YOU WANT TO WIN NEVER WINS
  • WHATS THE FUCK UP WITH THAT
  • i hate this show i love this show its everything to me